“The unexamined life is not worth living” Socrates
I start with a wise saying and move on to the essence.)
It’s autumn for us, but the weather behaves strangely, and it seems like summer has not yet left us. Only mosquitoes and flies remind us that, according to the rules, it’s time to start preparing for winter! Everything that can find a place for winter hibernation sneaks into the house, and we still can’t close the windows in search of coolness…
Except for mosquitoes and flies, everything in my life goes on as usual… After moving and finally breathing a sigh of freedom, I decided to finally focus on myself!
Usually, when we, women, focus on ourselves, it involves creams, masks, diets, and sports. But in my case, some sort of apocalypse will come before I tackle my appearance! Let me say it right away… I’m not proud of it, and I regularly get nagged by my daughter about it. But I hope I can improve, but for now, I have different priorities…
I started taking care of myself differently. Over the past years, I’ve become excessively lazy… And I’m not talking about kids or household chores… I’m talking about my personal growth… I got stuck in a rut. Instagram and other social media have become my main sources of information, my brain stopped functioning, and my attention wandered into oblivion… Any information now holds my attention for 2-3 seconds, roughly the duration of a video on Instagram… And don’t even mention watching documentaries or reading books. It’s amazing how the more time you spend on social media, the more you feel like you know EVERYTHING!
This year, I turned 42, and I started to realize that something was off… My interests disappeared, curiosity waned, and my self-confidence plummeted.
Now I feel lost… Who am I and what truly interests me?
Of course, I love cooking and spending time with my family, but that’s what I do… what brings me warmth and joy.
But it’s not enough. Reflecting on who I’m becoming and my (I won’t be afraid of this word) intellectual growth, I realized that I need to change something as soon as possible.
I admit that this small town isn’t helping me… Not much happens here, and the silence and calmness start to engulf me. But that’s not a reason to move backward.
After the move, many changes occurred in my life – both positive and quite negative… But the most significant change, which happened in my life, is finding peace and getting rid of the constant sense of anxiety. Gradually, I started to recover… My psychological state is improving, and this is a huge victory after a long struggle with stress, therapy, panic attacks, and even speech problems.
That’s why, on my birthday, September 25th, I started exercising and introspection… On my own… Without psychologists and other specialists… And I simply couldn’t answer the simplest questions for myself: “What’s next?” “What interests me?” “Who do I see myself as in the future?” “In which direction do I want to move?”
The inability to answer such simple questions at my age made me feel increasingly lost.
That’s why I decided it was time to take serious action for myself!
And under the motto: “Minimum social media and maximum information… Any information!” I took action.
And I’m sharing my experience with you because I’m sure that anyone could find themselves in my situation, and getting out of it is not that simple! The feeling of being lost in moments of stagnation also fuels the desire to respond to any conclusions and suggestions with a firm “no!”
So… How are my days going now? Instead of listening to music with headphones during morning runs, I listen to podcasts and attend masterclasses on various topics. I listen to politicians, actors, musicians, fashion representatives, business gurus, motivators, and so on… Sometimes I don’t quite understand what’s being discussed, but certain statements make me ponder about entirely new things!
Interestingly, now my breathing has become deeper, and my runs have become more productive. Music sometimes evokes excitement and accelerates fatigue. Podcasts, on the other hand, create a sense of participation in the conversation, and time flies by unnoticeably, interestingly, and beneficially.
When I get home, I dedicate 10-15 minutes to abdominal exercises and other activities, continuing to listen to podcasts. These exercises have become my new form of workouts and self-discipline. Often, I want to avoid difficult tasks, and that’s precisely why I made a promise to spend at least 5 minutes after my run. The key is that I don’t say “no.”
I read a book for at least an hour a day. I know this might sound funny, but for someone who doesn’t enjoy reading and completely stopped doing it, this is a real achievement. I find an hour during the day and read. And if I don’t have a whole hour, I read at least 20 minutes, but the most crucial rule for me now is not to deviate from the daily plan and not to find reasons to say, “No, I can’t, I don’t have time.”
In the morning, while I’m having coffee, I read online newspapers. But I try not to focus on negative information.
I started writing… Yes, every day, I write a diary in English… about everything that happens, about what I read and see… it helps me work on my memory and attention.
Moreover, I participate in any free online courses. Currently, I’m taking a course organized by LVMH.
This process doesn’t require significant financial resources… I run outdoors, listen to podcasts (the Masterclass was paid for a long time ago, but I only started now), and read unread books that my husband bought. In my case, there’s no need to search for specific information. I absorb everything that comes my way, and after a few weeks, I notice that my perspective is changing, and I become more responsive to specific information.
I’m still searching, but I’m confident that I’m moving in the right direction.
I’ll conclude this motivational story with another quote, this time from a book I’m currently reading.
“In Japanese pottery, there’s an artful form of repair called kintsugi. When a piece of ceramic pottery breaks, rather than trying to restore it to its original condition, the artisan accentuates the fault by using gold to fill the crack. This beautifully draws attention to where the work was broken, creating a golden vein. Instead of the flaw diminishing the work, it becomes a focal point, an area of both physical and aesthetic strength. The scar also tells the story of the piece, chronicling its past experience.”
— Rick Rubin, “The Creative Act.”
